Fear....

The most afraid I have ever been

A weird phenomena I have observed being far away from Damascus is that somehow the news seems more real.. Back in the beginning when I would watch the news and they would mention something happing a few blocks from my home, I wouldn’t really get that nervous and when men with guns started popping up on the road to my college and the mobile network was shut off there..it was somehow surreal, the only strong emotion I had was annoyance at the fact that I couldn’t call anyone, and amusement that the men with guns were butt ugly ( I am not kidding people)

But watching the news has become a whole different experience for me now, my imagination takes me to the most horrible place I always assume they are understating on the news, and that the worse has happen…so on Friday the 26^th when my best friend sent me a message-have you seen the news? Something bad has happened pray for us, my heart stopped, In two seconds I was on the net to find out what had happened, they had attacked a mosque…a mosque that me and my friends have prayed in many times , one dead the report said many injured…one dead…the weight of that word out weighed every statistic I have ever heard …and I realized sometimes numbers where people…people you love, people you grew up with..I sent my friend a text…go on-line NOW, she did,

What happened

They attacked the mosque my brother was there…

(I swore) is he alright!?!?

Yes he escaped and hid in some random strangers house….she then told me the rest of the horrible story, how they had beaten the over sixty year old imam of the mosque –how there was blood caking the floor when they finally left, and how the Syrian national television went on the air to say basically (nothing happened)

Let me tell you- the time between the sentence my brother was there and the word yes was the longest scariest second I have ever experienced. Ever. By now I was sobbing and shaking…I told my friend I had to go to the bathroom but what I needed was to go tell my husband what just happened and let him hug me untill my heart remembered how to beat again..